The Loss of a Loved One [Death : The Irony of Life]

   
The shock, the agony,  the pain, the trembling, the cry of the woman when she lost her only son. He was her joy of motherhood. She spends to the last to get him the best of whatever he wants.

   It was 6:00am, Tumi woke up, brushed his teeth, went to say "good morning" to his mum who was making breakfast in the kitchen and she gave him blessings as she always does, she continued with the fried rice she was making. 

At 6:15, with a glad heart,  he went to clean up his mother 's Element and his Camry; it was his last birthday gift from his mum; he cleans the cars as his daily routine and his mother receives praises at work for always having her car neat. Having done that, he went to take his bath and a voice rang "Tumi, your breakfast is ready..."It’s the mum' s voice so he wore his shirt and trousers, threw his tie across his neck , his jacket over his shoulder, lifted his briefcase from his locker side and off he goes to eat.
   Time runs, its 7:00 already, they chatted about the night while eating and when he was done with his, he rose up to meet his mother where she sat, knelt down and she did his tie for him. He gave her an adorable kiss on her forehead and left for work.
That was how Tumi and his mum had been living since his conception. They are best friends. Their relationship became even more closer when he lost his dad to ulcerative colitis at age 2.
   Tumi needs to be at work at or before 8:00am, it was 7:30am already.  He still has a 45min distance drive at a 70km/s speed to go. Tumi doesn't like to drive beyond 80km/s but that wont get him to work before 8:00. He thought as he drove; His boss warned yesterday about getting to work late. His colleague, Tunde was ready to take his position from him should the boss notice any error on his path.
It was 7: 45 already, he couldn't afford to loose his job, he increased his speed to 90km/s, rain began to pour, his phone beeped; its Dolapo calling; Dolapo is his fiancée . He doesn't pick calls while driving so he went on.
   Its 7:50, but with his current speed, he will be at work in 4mins.
Its 7:54, Yes, He did it! He is at work. He doesn't have an umbrella in his car, he decided to run up the stairs. A fall was heard, the ambulance arrived, took the person away.
8:00am: Mrs. Mofolake got a call "hello, its an emergency from Glory hospital, your attention is needed"
Mrs. Mofolake was at the hospital 5mins past 8. "We lost him" the doctor said and she fainted.
Tumi's mum laid on the hospital bed and wailed. Her only son, her best friend is gone.
 
Sometimes it's good to be alone
View life all on your own
Ponder where the future lies
And wonder how yet times flies

How different this is from lonely

Losing a seemingly one and only
How so clear the future ahead
Black and blank- and dead

Wipe the smile and put a grin
Fright at the sound of the drop of a pin
Try and laugh at someone's talk
And end up a laughing-stock

You feel you are to blame
'Right the wrong if I could time tame'
You are now enveloped in guilt
Shut in a prison you built

Let out your grief
But make it brief
Let out your feelings in a cry
Spill the tears till the ducts are dry

Row your boat in the wilderness of sorrow
Take solace in resurrection and Tomorrow
For a Friend you had from birth
Before the one you lost to death

[poem by Kolabomi Adeko
http://m.poemhunter.com/kolabomi-adeko/ ]

EXPERIENCE

Sitting at a corner of my bed, I flashed back to childhood days and all i could see was a young girl filled with passion to excel, love, some day meet someone special, and all. Yea... I really have love and have loved but the least I expected was for a love being to learn through a tough road of experience but you see, its been great learning.
Seems I'm going too personal right? Okay, lets chat and make it about us and not me.
Some of us have really faced life you know. Having experiences like being disappointed by a trusted person, loosing a loved one say parent or sibling, falling in love with a wrong guy, having to take college entrance exams quite a number of times, friends departing when we need them and all.
But you see, from the above experiences,  I've learnt that no one is above disappointment, nobody you love can reciprocate the same amount of love,  a failed attempt is not a stop, the absence of someone you love does not end your living and that no one is alone in the game.
I know you also must have experienced one of these kind of things which usually take some energy to recover from but I must tell you that you should not give up on your passions because of some garbages. Whatever should be let go should be and Whatever needs more attempts should be given more attempts. someone up there has a way of fixing things even when you think you are the best at screwing things up,  He comes over to fix the mess.
Therefore, cheer up and live life.
Have a nice day!

WHO AM I?

Who you really are is a very crucial matter about life.  You need to be able to define yourself since this is the only way you can bring out the best in this self. 
A double tragedy in life is; to die without knowing who you really are and to live denying who you really are.
My article today is centred on self image and self esteem which is One of the biggest issues in the life of all of us.
YOU ARE MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE
Self image is how you perceive yourself. It is formed by a number of self impressions that come up over time. This self image can be positive, giving a person confidence in their thought and action or negative, giving them doubts of their abilities and ideas.
Surprisingly and oftentimes,  your outward appearance can be a facade but then  our self image can determine our approach toward life. 
If  you have a positive self image, you approach life positively.  However, it is important that your self image be not only positive but realistic.  Having an unrealistic self image can be a drawback whether the self image be positive or negative.
A negative self image can cause discouragement, failure and a negative thought can also encourage change, hard work, growth and success. Sometimes, having to positive self image can encourage complacency,  underachievement and arrogance.
Finding balance between feeling positive about oneself and having realistic goals is important.
Building self esteem is an inside job. Other people, circumstances, performance, success or failure will only allow a good self esteem to elude us.
So,  take time to develop a realistic self image and build your self esteem. These are the things that make you up.

TOUGH TIMES IN RELATIONSHIPS

A relationship either with the opposite or same sex who is a friend in this case is usually sweet to begin but often times a lot happen as the road gets thinner and these persons get closer. So many questions begin to pop up like;

“Where on earth did I meet him/ her?”

“What was I looking at when I made him/ her friend?”

“Why do he/ she simply derive joy from getting me angry?”

We all have been in one of those kinds of scene where we have to ponder on the qualifications that got us in a relationship with some people in our lives but then I got to tell you that you need to stop asking those questions and begin to see the reasons you made them your friends.

Seriously, I must say that no one has it all and most times we drain our loved ones such that we end up not finding the sap we really desired in them. At this junction only one thing stands and that is LOVE. Yea! LOVE! That is the only light that is unquenchable in any relationship. 

You see, God loved us SO he gave us His dear son. That’s much of a sacrifice you know, but then He let it go because he loves us. We need to begin to see people in our lives as our lovers such that even when all they display are some set of flaws we still have the strength to love them. Love is divine and it is what got you attracted to them. You saw something lovable in them; say beauty, attitude, charisma, career, strength, etc. and you chose to be with them. You’ve got to sacrifice your most desired things to be with these people. Forget their flaws!

Love endures all things because it is divine and so you need to begin to endure all things for these people. They are never going to be the perfect persons you want them to be if you keep expecting them to be perfect but they can grow beyond your expectations if you do not limit them with your own expectations. Stop expecting them to be perfect.

Another fascinating thing love does is to forgive. Love forgives all our inadequacies. He never sees them; he blinds himself to them such that he only sees those attractive things in us. So, you need to learn to forgive. Forgive everyone who has hurt you. Let go of the past and love these people as long as they remain in your life.

Cultivate the love nature.

THE FEAR OF GOD; THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM

Have you ever pondered on how wise you are? have you ever felt you are not wise enough? ok.
Prov 15: 33 (KJV) "The fear of God is the instruction of wisdom."

As I sat in one of my school's lecture theaters thinking of how to get over a problem, that bible verse rang in my ear and my thought moved away from the problem to the bible verse. I shrugged from the thought of it for a while cause I couldn't figure out how it was going to help me solve the problem I had but then, it rang again more clearly and I got it.

If you fear God or maybe I should be more practical; If you fear your dad and you do not like to get on his nerves, what do you do? Well for me, I will do away with everything that can get me close to his nerves not to even talk of getting on it. most times, it would require me to  think deeply to get an answer and in the course of doing that, I get answers to other problems. When I am out of that mood or right in that mood, I try to apply this idea I just got to a problem in  reality and usually, all I see in myself after this solution works out is a wise woman and seriously, that is simply the way it is with God.

Whenever you are being cautious of your ways because of God, you open your heart for deeper revelations of him and the world that gets you feeling fly like a super wise man.

I believe wisdom is not your ability to stand by a big mountain, pushing it with yiour little effort in order to move it away but your ability to get an axe and shove little parts of it away until it is finally gone. You realize that in this way, you are able to move the mountain and at the same time maximise the little stones you turned it to for something more useful.

Fearing God takes you to a realm of deep thinking that makes everyone see you as a wise person whereas you are just a little deep thinker.