Thursday, 22 December 2016

When You Meet The One You Love

Dear Dre,

   How are you doing? It's been couple of days and I miss you already. I know you do too. Sorry about leaving you alone in school.
   Let's put the greetings aside, I've come with my relationship grunts as usual. This time is actually not about me but about her. Snap out of that homo thought in your mind; I mean her: the lady you'd end up in a relationship with. That girl you'd crush on harder than you crushed on me. I just hope she's like me, a better version of me and not a wild version of 'woman'.
     When you meet her, be sweet. Be the sweetest thing you can be irrespective of where you met because places don't matter in the long run. They are just for the story and amusement. You know I always wished I met the love of my life in church right? Yea. The story changed when I realized meeting in church is nothing if the guy is not as sweet as you wish him to be.
    Now, let me tell you how to be sweet. Give her all the attention and treat her like she's the only sperm that will give you that special child you want. Take her out to everywhere especially not forgetting to take her on a date even when she told you she loves it private, indoor. Its on a date that she gets to dress to look her best, preeminently because of you. She'd forever cherish it. You should also dress classy for her. I know you like it simple and casual but you don't want a rich guy from around the street to come ask your girl out in front of you.
    When she's all dressed, appreciate her. Be the first to tell her she looks beautiful, stunning, amazing. See, forget those talks we say in secondary school days that we don't need a man to tell us we're beautiful. We might not need it but we care for it. Our love antenna provides neat and colorful service when we are appreciated.
    Don't stop at appreciating her looks, appreciate the little things she does. You went visiting and she cooks, appreciate it. It's not your money she used and even if it is, it's not your energy or recipe. While you're being appreciative, daze her with gifts.
   I've got some other things to attend to so, I will drop my pen for another day. But, before I do, I know you don't have issues with sweet talking but I'd like to reinforce that you call her sweet names. Nne, maami, sweetheart, sugarplum, etc. And tell her you love her often. As commonly used as those words are, everyone loves to hear them resoundingly. In short, sweep her off her feet.
   There's more to do after but, know that the foremost way to keep a woman standing with you is to sweep her off her feet.

                          Yours weirdly,